I got married a week ago. To an Actor.
Ah. Wait. Hold on - first, little history: From 1999 to 2009 I was married to an Actor. It didn’t turn out so well. In fact, it was pretty much doomed by Year 3, and yet we both hung in there for nearly a decade. And after the BS of the split, the divorce, ech belch, I swore at that point that I’d never do this sort of thing again. No matter how much a partner meant to me, no matter how much I thought I would want it at the time… I wouldn’t do it. I was officially allergic to Marriage.
And here I am. An Actor, married for the second time. To an Actor.
Now, for those of you just tuning in,
Reasons Not to Marry an Actor:
- We disappear for months at a time to make very little money in all corners of the world.
- Our entire lives change with one phone call. This happens all the time.
- We may never. Own. Anything. (other than a really nice wardrobe.)
- Substance Abuse.
- A teeny tiny percentage of us become ‘stars’, but those that get into The Business to become stars are generally terrible people and not worthy of marrying anyway.
At this moment I’m in Denver International Airport, on my way to Aspen for the summer to do a great gig there, and Kristen is soon to be in Eastern Long Island and Maine on a completely different summer show. As we snuggled up to each other last night we had the startling realization that it was the last night we’d spend together in our apartment…until September. And people who just attended our wedding cluck their tongues, shake their heads and wonder why we would be in such careers,how we could do such things to each other. “Acting, such a hard profession. Such challenges.”
And you know what? That’s fine.
Because Actors aren’t alone in this. My father served in the US Navy. In fact, I was born while he was on assignment in the Phillipines, and there were times (during both Gulf Wars) when we had no idea where he was, and no way to find out, for months. There are people in all walks of life in this world who sacrifice time with their loved ones because they believe that they were put here on this Earth for very specific things; ER Doctors. Firefighters & Cops. The Military, professional Musicians. Carnies… the list goes on.
Kristen and I are on the same page - we know two things completely and absolutely; First, that we were put here on this earth to Do The Work, to use the gifts we were given and Create. Second, that we love each other deeply, and sometimes we’ll get to work together, and sometimes we won’t.
But we’ll never lose touch. And we’ll never lose sight of the goals we have for each other, for our family, for our lives together. Because the truth is, the day after I got married, I wasn’t terrified for my partner or for my life; I was excited. Because I felt like MORE. Like I had new powers added to my superhero suit. Because we’re not simply Jimmy and Kristen anymore. We’re KBLuds.